Gratis Gamer: The Best Free Gaming on the Web

     Welcome, once again, to Gratis Gamer! Here you will find the best free games that the world wide information superhighweb internet tubes have to offer. Whether you're looking to sneak in some gaming on the sly to stave off the boredom at your soul crushing joke of a job (why else would you be reading this at work), or simply looking for some truly good, totally free, independently created games to fill the hole between those AAA title sequels, this is your guide to some of the best, ya cheapskate.

Review: Portal 2

Developer: Valve Corporation

Publisher: Valve Corporation

Platform: PS3/X360/PC

Game Completion: 8-10 hrs

     There are games in which you can assume the role of a mighty warrior, saving the universe from a dark evil; epic sagas that see you spanning a fantastical realm. There are games that allow you to get in touch with your devious side, shooting cops, running down pedestrians and rising up the ranks in the criminal world. There are games that can make you feel like a rock star by clicking buttons on clunky plastic instruments. Then, there is a first person shooter/puzzle hybrid which finds you attempting to escape a facility run by a revenge obsessed, homicidal computer who is inherently compelled to force you to repeatedly place a box onto a button in a succession of ever more complex situations until you die. I'll let you guess which of those Portal 2 falls into.

You guessed incorrectly...

Review: Uncharted 2 Among Thieves

     Back in the good old Playstation one days, I remember watching the prerendered cg cut scenes for certain games and thinking "man, wouldn't it be fucking amazing, if one day, games actually looked this good while you were actively playing them, like playing a movie?". Obviously, with the advancement of video game technology, this has been achieved by a fair amount of games at this point. The main difference between those games and Uncharted 2, however, is that many of those games only allow the player to pull of those amazing movie-like action scenes through some sort of trick, where the player, while technically controlling the game, is really only following a pattern of pre-set button prompts that appear on the screen (otherwise known as "quick time events"). Somehow, Uncharted 2 found a way to deliver that same level of blockbuster movie style action almost perfectly, all while allowing the player full control. 

Yeah, see that there, that's actual game play...actual. fucking. game play.

Review: Castlevania Lords of Shadow

     For the last two decades, the Castlevania franchise has seen numerous iterations. The series' most popular (and most critically lauded) titles have followed an evolution of its 2D roots, boasting what many consider to be the finest among them on the Nintendo DS and GBA. Castlevania's initial forays into 3D on the N64 and subsequent follow ups on the PS2 were received with lukewarm consideration, at best. Was the collaboration of game production phenom Hideo Kojima enough to elevate Lords of Shadow to becoming the first 3D game in the series to truly compete with its 2D brethren?

Aww...c'mon, at least gimme a chance...

"M's Watchability Rating"

That is a picture of a cat playing XBox. You're welcome. Now with that out of the way. I'd lake to take a moment to explain a particular rating you'll see appearing in select reviews around here. Occasionally, underneath my standard rating for a game, an extra stat labeled "M's Watchability Rating" will be present. Since my girlfriend Melissa has something wrong in her head that makes her not only patient enough to sit there and watch me play video games, it also causes her to actually REQUEST that I do so (yeah, I know....my girlfriend > your girlfriend). Seeing as how many of the games I'll be reviewing in here I will have actually played through with trusty Melissa by my side, I decided that I might as well have her throw in her 2 cents as well. Essentially, her mini review is that of the spectator; not so much taking into account game mechanics as much as her experience in watching it, as one would a film (speaking of which, make sure to check out her blog HollywoodHeldResponsible also). To all normal girlfriends out there who despise video games, you should think of it as a meter of how much you'll be able to tolerate the next game your significant other makes you suffer through!!  That is all...you may carry on...and much thanks, babe ;)

"We only have enough love for two, Craig!!!"

Review: God of War III

Title: God of War III

Developer: SCEA Santa Monica Studios

Platform: PS3

Throughout the God of War series, players have been tasked with guiding Kratos through his rage fueled tale of vengeance, destroying any of the gods of Greek mythology who stand in his path. In God of War 3, the supposed true "end" to the main series, director Stig Asmussen has upped the ante over the previous games in almost every department. The graphics, brutality, boss battles, gore, fighting mechanics and action have all been raised to near-perfection and really show off what the PS3 is truly capable of.

Never before have throat danglies looked so beautiful in a video game.

Press start to continue...

Greetings and welcome to Filtered Pixels!!! Here you will find all the mish-mashed video game musings that I allow to fall from my mind onto my keyboard and finally fill the electronic glow of your computer screen (or screens, if anyone other than my loving girlfriend decides to devote their time to this nonsense). With this blog, I am proud to be the VERY first person on the entirety of the World Wide Web (or Information Superhighway, as the kids call it these days) to provide video game news, reviews, previews and whatever else I deem fit to publish (e.g. pictures of animals I hope one day to possess or consume), all through the discerning eye of Forrest Thompson. "Who is Forrest Thompson, and why do I care?" you may ask yourself and the answer to that question is "NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!!! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, ASKING A QUESTION LIKE THAT?!?! HE DIDN'T DO NOTHIN' TO NOBODY, JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE ALREADY, CHRIST ALMIGHTY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!" So...now that we're all acquainted, let's sit back, relax and enjoy my insanely intelligent and well informed blog of all that I hold dear in this world: Video Games (except, of course, the sole reader of this blog: Captain Girlfriend).