Review: Castlevania Lords of Shadow

     For the last two decades, the Castlevania franchise has seen numerous iterations. The series' most popular (and most critically lauded) titles have followed an evolution of its 2D roots, boasting what many consider to be the finest among them on the Nintendo DS and GBA. Castlevania's initial forays into 3D on the N64 and subsequent follow ups on the PS2 were received with lukewarm consideration, at best. Was the collaboration of game production phenom Hideo Kojima enough to elevate Lords of Shadow to becoming the first 3D game in the series to truly compete with its 2D brethren?

Aww...c'mon, at least gimme a chance...

     Let me get this out of the way, right from the get-go: Castlevania is undeniably the most beautiful game I have ever played. The production values show themselves right from the start with Patrick Stewart narration, jaw-droppingly unbelievable visuals and an epic, EPIC original score. About 5 minutes after beginning the game, I immediately realized why Konami of America is so hopelessly underfunded (though probably for good reason). So, that being said, many games can heap on the eye candy, but that is all for naught if the game is a right piece of shit; I can happily assure you that, while it has its minor issues, this game is certainly no pile of dung with titanium plating. 

I image searched for "poop with silver plating" and this was the best I could find...

     Castlevania Lords of Shadow (herein referred to as LoS) unabashedly steals gameplay ideas from a handful of other games. The main combat mechanic is a dead ringer for an illegitimate love child between God of War and Devil May Cry, the wall climbing/jumping nabbed from Uncharted, the Titan boss battles lifted directly from Shadow of the Colossus, and the Patrick Stewart...well that's just Patrick Stewart, enjoy. I have no problem with this "cut and paste" mentality that pervades the gameplay, as designers MercurySteam just do it so damned well. Gameplay is intuitive, fun and varied throughout the experience, with the one occasional problem being the sometimes uncooperative camera angles (though this is a minor annoyance). I never once tired of laying waste to hordes of the undead with my ever increasing bevy of flashy, eviscerating death blows. It is very clear, that although most of the gameplay is wholly unoriginal, the devs really put every last effort into crafting a game that is hugely entertaining to play and incredibly solid. How could someone not have fun doing any of this:

    Which brings us to the story. Now, in my line of work, I know a lot of guys who have some pretty strong opinions about games. For the most part, my friends (one in particular, "Hey Eric!!") who played through LoS, bemoaned over and over the fact that it "just didn't feel like a Castlevania game". While I understand the sentiment that this is simply some other game with Castlevania window dressings, I couldn't disagree more. I have played most of the Castlevania games throughout the years and to me, LoS is a breath of fresh air. I wholeheartedly believe that this game was crafted, from script to polygons as a "Castlevania" game. I believe that, with Hideo Kojima's crazy ass assisting in development, that LoS became something even better than yet another trek through a castle with Dracula awaiting Belmont at the end. While the story they came up with is admittedly, pretty damned predictable and forgettable, I commend the team for trying to do something entirely different from what has already been done to death in this series. 

Yeah, this. I'm fine without this for the fiftieth time...

     Overall, LoS is a brilliant, if unexpected entry in the Castlevania legacy. Sure, the gameplay has a bit of that used car funk to it, sure, the story isn't what fans were expecting and may or may not have been conjured up by Kojima's 5th grade daughter. But this here beautiful bastard of a game has Patrick Stewart...Patrick Stewart mutha fucka. Yeah, just let that sink in...

This is very true...and now a word from her...

Graphics: 10/10

Gameplay: 9/10

Replayability: 7/10

The Whole Shebang: 9/10

M's Watchability Rating: 5/5 All I have to say is that this game is BEAUTIFUL. The landscapes, creatures and castles never cease to amaze me. Each stop on Gabriel's quest to kill the Lords of Shadow is a new perfectly depicted realm paired with its proper boss. The fighting never gets old as new creatures and weapons are constantly being introduced and upgraded. Since I've seen 'God of War 3', the basic game-play is not entirely unique, but the way in which the battle-cross is used, does bring its own advantages. My favourite part of this game is the puzzles. I had a lot of fun working my logic skills throughout Gabriel's quest. And as a passive participant it allowed me to be more involved other than my usual interjection of: "I think I saw something shiny back there to the right." As a noob to Castlevania, this was a great introduction!

***NOTE***   Make sure and stick around after the end credits of LoS for quite a bit of extra ending goodness....