Review: Castlevania Lords of Shadow

     For the last two decades, the Castlevania franchise has seen numerous iterations. The series' most popular (and most critically lauded) titles have followed an evolution of its 2D roots, boasting what many consider to be the finest among them on the Nintendo DS and GBA. Castlevania's initial forays into 3D on the N64 and subsequent follow ups on the PS2 were received with lukewarm consideration, at best. Was the collaboration of game production phenom Hideo Kojima enough to elevate Lords of Shadow to becoming the first 3D game in the series to truly compete with its 2D brethren?

Aww...c'mon, at least gimme a chance...

Epic Rant File #1: Goals in Gaming

     Say one thing for video games, say that at least they engage the player in a meaningful way. Were I to ever have children, I would definitely more often plop them down with a video game than allow their brains to rot away in front of the 90% of absolute shit that television produces. In this American society that fervently encourages "goal oriented thinking", one would rationalize that gaming would not be demonized to the extent that it currently is. The reason for this is mostly due to that other, all-too-American trait: Ignorance.
    

Probably horrible movie based on a video game/inspired by video game culture Review File #1: Gamer

 "Move aside The Running Man, there's a new game in town: it's called...uh, well it's called Gamer...and it's...uh...well, it's like all Running Man and shit...but it's...you know, like hardcore and extreme and current and stuff!!! Video Games are all big-time now, right?  I mean, that's what all the kids like these days. They still like violence and titties and swearing though, too, amirite?"
 

Review: Metroid Other M

Full disclosure: Samus Aran, star of the Metroid series, is, without a doubt, my favorite video game character. Some find this somewhat strange since, until recently, she was never really much of a character at all.  Throughout the series, bits and pieces have been revealed about her past and in “Metroid Fusion” for the GBA, she even had some sparse inner monologue (the first time the character had ever spoken in any manner), but for the most part, Samus is kind of a mystery and that’s what I think I find so alluring about her. All you really needed to know about Samus was that she was a badass Bounty Hunter with a slick space suit and an arm-cannon who hunts Metroids, case closed. All that being said, you can imagine my excitement (and trepidation) when I learned that “Other M” would be the first game (with the exception of Smash Bros.) to feature a voice actress portraying my favorite character in a fully fleshed out Hollywood-style, blockbuster Metroid game.  So, did Team Ninja somehow manage to not completely fuck up my favorite pixelated creation?

A hiatus already?!?!

Sad news for my thousands of loyal readers: I will be forced to take a brief hiatus from the blog. Yes, unfortunately my trusty laptop has finally kicked the bucket and there is only so much time I can devote at work to surreptitiously contribute to the blog. 

= 

Lets not all fall on our swords just yet though, people. I should have a new PC before too long...a couple of weeks at most, hopefully. In the meantime you can be sure I'll be spending far too much time doing "research" for the bevy of entries I shall unleash upon the blog as soon as I'm up and running again. Take care, y'all.

"M's Watchability Rating"

That is a picture of a cat playing XBox. You're welcome. Now with that out of the way. I'd lake to take a moment to explain a particular rating you'll see appearing in select reviews around here. Occasionally, underneath my standard rating for a game, an extra stat labeled "M's Watchability Rating" will be present. Since my girlfriend Melissa has something wrong in her head that makes her not only patient enough to sit there and watch me play video games, it also causes her to actually REQUEST that I do so (yeah, I know....my girlfriend > your girlfriend). Seeing as how many of the games I'll be reviewing in here I will have actually played through with trusty Melissa by my side, I decided that I might as well have her throw in her 2 cents as well. Essentially, her mini review is that of the spectator; not so much taking into account game mechanics as much as her experience in watching it, as one would a film (speaking of which, make sure to check out her blog HollywoodHeldResponsible also). To all normal girlfriends out there who despise video games, you should think of it as a meter of how much you'll be able to tolerate the next game your significant other makes you suffer through!!  That is all...you may carry on...and much thanks, babe ;)

"We only have enough love for two, Craig!!!"

Review: God of War III

Title: God of War III

Developer: SCEA Santa Monica Studios

Platform: PS3

Throughout the God of War series, players have been tasked with guiding Kratos through his rage fueled tale of vengeance, destroying any of the gods of Greek mythology who stand in his path. In God of War 3, the supposed true "end" to the main series, director Stig Asmussen has upped the ante over the previous games in almost every department. The graphics, brutality, boss battles, gore, fighting mechanics and action have all been raised to near-perfection and really show off what the PS3 is truly capable of.

Never before have throat danglies looked so beautiful in a video game.