Epic Rant File #1: Goals in Gaming

     Say one thing for video games, say that at least they engage the player in a meaningful way. Were I to ever have children, I would definitely more often plop them down with a video game than allow their brains to rot away in front of the 90% of absolute shit that television produces. In this American society that fervently encourages "goal oriented thinking", one would rationalize that gaming would not be demonized to the extent that it currently is. The reason for this is mostly due to that other, all-too-American trait: Ignorance.
    

Probably horrible movie based on a video game/inspired by video game culture Review File #1: Gamer

 "Move aside The Running Man, there's a new game in town: it's called...uh, well it's called Gamer...and it's...uh...well, it's like all Running Man and shit...but it's...you know, like hardcore and extreme and current and stuff!!! Video Games are all big-time now, right?  I mean, that's what all the kids like these days. They still like violence and titties and swearing though, too, amirite?"
 

Review: Metroid Other M

Full disclosure: Samus Aran, star of the Metroid series, is, without a doubt, my favorite video game character. Some find this somewhat strange since, until recently, she was never really much of a character at all.  Throughout the series, bits and pieces have been revealed about her past and in “Metroid Fusion” for the GBA, she even had some sparse inner monologue (the first time the character had ever spoken in any manner), but for the most part, Samus is kind of a mystery and that’s what I think I find so alluring about her. All you really needed to know about Samus was that she was a badass Bounty Hunter with a slick space suit and an arm-cannon who hunts Metroids, case closed. All that being said, you can imagine my excitement (and trepidation) when I learned that “Other M” would be the first game (with the exception of Smash Bros.) to feature a voice actress portraying my favorite character in a fully fleshed out Hollywood-style, blockbuster Metroid game.  So, did Team Ninja somehow manage to not completely fuck up my favorite pixelated creation?

A hiatus already?!?!

Sad news for my thousands of loyal readers: I will be forced to take a brief hiatus from the blog. Yes, unfortunately my trusty laptop has finally kicked the bucket and there is only so much time I can devote at work to surreptitiously contribute to the blog. 

= 

Lets not all fall on our swords just yet though, people. I should have a new PC before too long...a couple of weeks at most, hopefully. In the meantime you can be sure I'll be spending far too much time doing "research" for the bevy of entries I shall unleash upon the blog as soon as I'm up and running again. Take care, y'all.

"M's Watchability Rating"

That is a picture of a cat playing XBox. You're welcome. Now with that out of the way. I'd lake to take a moment to explain a particular rating you'll see appearing in select reviews around here. Occasionally, underneath my standard rating for a game, an extra stat labeled "M's Watchability Rating" will be present. Since my girlfriend Melissa has something wrong in her head that makes her not only patient enough to sit there and watch me play video games, it also causes her to actually REQUEST that I do so (yeah, I know....my girlfriend > your girlfriend). Seeing as how many of the games I'll be reviewing in here I will have actually played through with trusty Melissa by my side, I decided that I might as well have her throw in her 2 cents as well. Essentially, her mini review is that of the spectator; not so much taking into account game mechanics as much as her experience in watching it, as one would a film (speaking of which, make sure to check out her blog HollywoodHeldResponsible also). To all normal girlfriends out there who despise video games, you should think of it as a meter of how much you'll be able to tolerate the next game your significant other makes you suffer through!!  That is all...you may carry on...and much thanks, babe ;)

"We only have enough love for two, Craig!!!"

Review: God of War III

Title: God of War III

Developer: SCEA Santa Monica Studios

Platform: PS3

Throughout the God of War series, players have been tasked with guiding Kratos through his rage fueled tale of vengeance, destroying any of the gods of Greek mythology who stand in his path. In God of War 3, the supposed true "end" to the main series, director Stig Asmussen has upped the ante over the previous games in almost every department. The graphics, brutality, boss battles, gore, fighting mechanics and action have all been raised to near-perfection and really show off what the PS3 is truly capable of.

Never before have throat danglies looked so beautiful in a video game.

Budget Button Pressers: "NORRLAND"

Title: Norrland
Creator: Cactus (Jonatan Söderström)
Platform: PC
Price: Free

"This seems neat, the whole retro thing has been done to death, but this is kinda cool....just exit the house or whatever...what the...wait a minute...what the fuck is going...well okay if I press that and then those I can reload for some reason...okay, he's gotta take a shit, he is out in the forest after all...wait how do I...okay I get it but what's with the blood...okay this is getting a bit too pretentious, but maybe there's something to it..." These are some of the thoughts that ran through my head during the first few minutes of Norrland. It is extremely avant garde in its own right, yet at the same time, appears to be poking fun at avant garde gaming (a genre which, even in my extensive experience, I have rarely encountered). The ColecoVision level graphics are beautifully executed (even when seeping drops of urine onto what I assume were ants), the atmosphere compelling and the silent film style narration brilliant. Though I'm not entirely sure what creator Soderstrom was trying to achieve or what message, if any, he was trying to get across.
The game follows a lone man making his way through the woods with his trusty rifle and a healthy heaping of bizarre (not to mention, hugely NSFW) minigames which are encountered everytime our hero either has a bodily function that needs tending to, or enters a dream state. I won't go into detailing these segments as I believe this is a game best left to be explored by each individual for himself; every person who plays this game will come away feeling something different (with the sole conjecture of at least one "what the fuck?" moment unifying all who play it). Regardless of what Norrland is supposed to exist as, I feel that every gamer (especially any of those interested in the indie scene) owes it to himself to experience this obtuse little piece of pixelated befuddlement.
Generally I would, at this point in my diatribe, attribute the game a solid "yea" or "nay" and go about the tried and true practice of divvying out a "blah" out of "blah" for graphics, replayability, etc. In the case of Norrland, however, I'll end with a simple "take 20 minutes out of your day and PLAY THIS GAME through"...ya might love it, ya might hate it, ya might give up on it and curse me for suggesting it to you. One thing ya will most likely say, though, is that you've never played anything quite like it. Get it HERE.

***HINT***
Though I won't give away the controls (the game itself purposefully provides no instructions) I will tell you that you do NOT need to use the mouse, only the keyboard keys. I won't say which, as part of the experience is just figuring it out for yourself...just don't give up...you'll find the right keys if ya try hard enough....

Press start to continue...

Greetings and welcome to Filtered Pixels!!! Here you will find all the mish-mashed video game musings that I allow to fall from my mind onto my keyboard and finally fill the electronic glow of your computer screen (or screens, if anyone other than my loving girlfriend decides to devote their time to this nonsense). With this blog, I am proud to be the VERY first person on the entirety of the World Wide Web (or Information Superhighway, as the kids call it these days) to provide video game news, reviews, previews and whatever else I deem fit to publish (e.g. pictures of animals I hope one day to possess or consume), all through the discerning eye of Forrest Thompson. "Who is Forrest Thompson, and why do I care?" you may ask yourself and the answer to that question is "NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!!! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, ASKING A QUESTION LIKE THAT?!?! HE DIDN'T DO NOTHIN' TO NOBODY, JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE ALREADY, CHRIST ALMIGHTY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!" So...now that we're all acquainted, let's sit back, relax and enjoy my insanely intelligent and well informed blog of all that I hold dear in this world: Video Games (except, of course, the sole reader of this blog: Captain Girlfriend).