Forrest's Epic Rants: Bugs

     Now, I've worked as a game tester for almost 4 years, across 4 different companies and have put my skills to use over a myriad of games over that time. Generally our job in quality assurance is to act as, essentially, a last line of defense between product and consumer; or, to put it more literally, we work to make sure that the game that you've spent your hard earned dollars on actually works the way it is intended to. There was a time that games would have to be nearly impeccable to be released (no game can be 100% bug free, but they can come pretty damned close). However, in this age of universal online connectivity, it seems that gaming companies are simply allowing more bugs to fall through the cracks when submitting a game for release, with the safeguard that they can simply come out with a patch to fix them at a later time. I'm about to tell you why this lazy, money grubbing practice absolutely, positively sucks.

Gratis Gamer: The Best Free Gaming on the Web

     Welcome, once again, to Gratis Gamer! Here you will find the best free games that the world wide information superhighweb internet tubes have to offer. Whether you're looking to sneak in some gaming on the sly to stave off the boredom at your soul crushing joke of a job (why else would you be reading this at work), or simply looking for some truly good, totally free, independently created games to fill the hole between those AAA title sequels, this is your guide to some of the best, ya cheapskate.

A Nightmare Wrapped Inside a Dream: What It's Like to Work at E3

     

   When I was a kid, E3 seemed like some kind of Video Game wonderland. Growing up, I constantly devoured every issue of Electronic Gaming Monthly (this was at a time before that newfangled "Internets" contraption everyone is talking about) and relished every single page of industry news, game reviews and so forth. Once a year, EGM would have it's E3 (electronic entertainment expo) report, which chronicled the event and supplied not only all of the significant announcements made there, but also would give the reader an inside look at what it was like to attend this mecca of the video game world. Throughout the report, pages were sprinkled with pictures of E3 attendees having the time of their lives; smiling or cheering faces of those lucky enough to be there, surrounded by epic glowing screens, larger than life statues of my favorite video game characters and of course, beautiful and buxom "booth babes" scattered among the show floor.

Regardless of the following comments, yeah, it's still pretty much like that...

Review: Portal 2

Developer: Valve Corporation

Publisher: Valve Corporation

Platform: PS3/X360/PC

Game Completion: 8-10 hrs

     There are games in which you can assume the role of a mighty warrior, saving the universe from a dark evil; epic sagas that see you spanning a fantastical realm. There are games that allow you to get in touch with your devious side, shooting cops, running down pedestrians and rising up the ranks in the criminal world. There are games that can make you feel like a rock star by clicking buttons on clunky plastic instruments. Then, there is a first person shooter/puzzle hybrid which finds you attempting to escape a facility run by a revenge obsessed, homicidal computer who is inherently compelled to force you to repeatedly place a box onto a button in a succession of ever more complex situations until you die. I'll let you guess which of those Portal 2 falls into.

You guessed incorrectly...

Forrest's Epic Rants: The PSN Debacle

   Okay, so maybe it's not quite as dramatic as a nuclear explosion, but the recent Playstation Network hack is definitely the most notorious event to befall the gaming industry in quite some time. Though we have yet to see the full fallout from what will go down as one of the biggest and most comprehensive security breaches in the history of modern technology, there is no doubt that this will hurt not only Sony's (admittedly deep) pockets, but also their reputation. Before we get into that, however, allow me a moment to bring the uninitiated up to speed...

PSN? What in the Sam Hell is a PSN...I still can't figure out where to put the stamp on this e-mail!!!

Gratis Gamer: Featuring the Best in Free Web Gaming

     Welcome to the first installment of Gratis Gamer, covering some of the best (or, simply, most interesting) free games to play around the web. All titles featured are absolutely, 100% free and holy shit, they just might actually be worth your time! So, with that said, hit the jump, follow the links and enjoy the satisfaction of being entertained without letting a single, precious coin slip out of your pocket....

Review: Dead Space

Developer: Visceral Games

Publisher: EA

Platform: PS3

Game Completion: ~11hrs

     Here's a game I had been avoiding for some time. To me, everything I had seen about it seemed to scream "GENERIC ACTION/HORROR SPACE SHOOTER" and thusly I treated it with a fair amount of indifference. That is, until a co-worker showed up with it one day, basically thrust it into my hands and said "play this, you won't regret it". For anyone who has played Dead Space, needless to say, he was totally right.  

You tend to listen to video game suggestions when you work in a place like this....